Date Like A Nerd

Unlock Your Player 2!

Gamification

Level Up Your Social Skills Using Online Gaming Communities

by

with Kaylee Lopez

🫣 Meeting new people can be scary. That’s why online gaming communities are a great way to start if you have Level 1 Social Skills and want to gain some XP! 👾

In this episode, I bring back Kaylee Lopez, an anthropologist who writes about gaming and game communities. We discussed why communities are important and how you can use them to level up your social skills IRL 💬

🏰 From self-esteem to safety, communities can serve many different purposes. Fortunately, whether they’re online or in-person doesn’t dramatically change the impact they can have on you. Having a group of people who want to be with you and support you can help you become more secure in yourself and with others 😎

🖥️ You can use online social spaces to try new social skills that you’re too afraid to test in the real world. By giving your avatar the behaviours you’d like to have yourself, you can safely test what it would feel like to be someone different 🦸 Someone you want to be 🫅

You’ll even get to see how people react, and how you can react to those reactions (and so on) 🤩 After rinsing and repeating, you’ll start incorporating those characteristics into your real life. There are forms of therapy (including TTRPGs) that are based on this model. The fact that it’s not “the real you” is irrelevant. You’ll still grow and develop into the person you want to become 🙌

As time goes by and you start feeling more confident both in your skills and with the people in your community, you can go from text-based interactions to audio, video, and maybe even in-person meetings! 🤗

🫡 So what are you waiting for? Are you going to accept this new Quest? 🙂‍↕️

🎧 Listen now and start leveling up your social skills online! 🦾

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❤️ FREE GUIDE: 🎮
Where do nerds REALLY meet their Player 2?

I asked hundreds of nerds and created a guide based on their responses.
Are you going to keep grinding without finding out the truth?

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Kaylee’s Links:

Related Episodes:

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

  • 00:00:00 Intro
  • 00:01:19 The Value Of Communities
  • 00:03:46 Becoming Secure Through Communities
  • 00:06:09 IRL vs Online Communities
  • 00:08:09 How to Meet People in Online Games
  • 00:10:35 Developing Social Skills
  • 00:13:19 Who You Want To Be
  • 00:15:00 Staying Safe
  • 00:21:05 Contact

Gamify Your Dating Anxiety

by

with Michael Berger

👻 Fear of rejection can ruin your dating life in multiple ways: you won’t start conversations, ask for a number, invite on a date, or show how you truly feel. Fortunately, you can get over it with gamification! 👾

Although many video games can teach you the Growth Mindset, you may not be applying it IRL… yet 💡 And that’s where gamification comes in: it can give you dopamine hits similar to video games, help you stay motivated, and give you positive reinforcement even if you don’t get the results you were hoping for 😬

In this interview, Michael Berger and I discuss how you can gamify your dating life to build new habits that will help you get over your fear of rejection (and many other Quests) 🧙‍♂️ This approach has one major advantage over the idea that you need “30 days of consistency to build a habit”: with this gamification, you don’t lose your progress if you stop. You. Don’t. Lose. XP 🎮

I also share my style of gamified coaching to help you get over your fears and anxieties with dating: It starts by recognizing what makes you anxious, giving it a Challenge Rating (CR score), deciding on the actions that you need to take, how much XP each action gives you, and then going out and grinding ⛏️ With a mix of gradual exposure and gamification, you’ll level up in no time! ⬆️

🧌 Because just like in video games, you shouldn’t start by fighting the BBEG at level 1. Tackling each challenge at the appropriate level will give your body and mind time to get used to it and recognize that it’s not the TPK you were expecting. Even if you can’t beat it on the first try.

🎧 So what’re you waiting for? Listen to this episode so you can start grinding to level up! 💪

❤️ Where to meet your Player 2 organically 🎮

200+ places and a walkthrough to help you on your Quest!

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Guest’s Bio:

Michael Berger aka BergerGames has been a fixture inside the niche of gaming on Instagram for the last two years doing the very common work of a social media personality, but recently he has been adding aspects of his professional day-to-day job as a Licensed Social Worker into his content. 

Mike also trains other mental health professionals on how to have conversations about suicide, crisis de-escalation, and motivational interviewing.  Recently he’s been creating YouTube videos on the intersection of gaming and mental health, building courses teaching gamers how to take advantage of their psychology and “gamify their life.” And appearing on podcasts like this one.

Links:

Mike Berger’s Substack: https://mikebergergames.substack.com/

Socials:

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

  • 00:00:00 Intro
  • 00:00:26 Micael Berger’s Bio
  • 00:01:55 Video Games and Mental Health
  • 00:05:49 Growth Mindset in Video Games
  • 00:08:24 Dopamine for Habit Formation
  • 00:11:53 Gamifying your Fear of Rejection
  • 00:16:24 The Problem with 30-Day Challenges
  • 00:20:11 Exposure to Anxiety
  • 00:24:49 Facing Rejection
  • 00:28:34 Street and Gym “Approach” Examples