Date Like A Nerd

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Gamify Your Dating Anxiety

by

with Michael Berger

👻 Fear of rejection can ruin your dating life in multiple ways: you won’t start conversations, ask for a number, invite on a date, or show how you truly feel. Fortunately, you can get over it with gamification! 👾

Although many video games can teach you the Growth Mindset, you may not be applying it IRL… yet 💡 And that’s where gamification comes in: it can give you dopamine hits similar to video games, help you stay motivated, and give you positive reinforcement even if you don’t get the results you were hoping for 😬

In this interview, Michael Berger and I discuss how you can gamify your dating life to build new habits that will help you get over your fear of rejection (and many other Quests) 🧙‍♂️ This approach has one major advantage over the idea that you need “30 days of consistency to build a habit”: with this gamification, you don’t lose your progress if you stop. You. Don’t. Lose. XP 🎮

I also share my style of gamified coaching to help you get over your fears and anxieties with dating: It starts by recognizing what makes you anxious, giving it a Challenge Rating (CR score), deciding on the actions that you need to take, how much XP each action gives you, and then going out and grinding ⛏️ With a mix of gradual exposure and gamification, you’ll level up in no time! ⬆️

🧌 Because just like in video games, you shouldn’t start by fighting the BBEG at level 1. Tackling each challenge at the appropriate level will give your body and mind time to get used to it and recognize that it’s not the TPK you were expecting. Even if you can’t beat it on the first try.

🎧 So what’re you waiting for? Listen to this episode so you can start grinding to level up! 💪

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Guest’s Bio:

Michael Berger aka BergerGames has been a fixture inside the niche of gaming on Instagram for the last two years doing the very common work of a social media personality, but recently he has been adding aspects of his professional day-to-day job as a Licensed Social Worker into his content. 

Mike also trains other mental health professionals on how to have conversations about suicide, crisis de-escalation, and motivational interviewing.  Recently he’s been creating YouTube videos on the intersection of gaming and mental health, building courses teaching gamers how to take advantage of their psychology and “gamify their life.” And appearing on podcasts like this one.

Links:

Mike Berger’s Substack: https://mikebergergames.substack.com/

Socials:

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

  • 00:00:00 Intro
  • 00:00:26 Micael Berger’s Bio
  • 00:01:55 Video Games and Mental Health
  • 00:05:49 Growth Mindset in Video Games
  • 00:08:24 Dopamine for Habit Formation
  • 00:11:53 Gamifying your Fear of Rejection
  • 00:16:24 The Problem with 30-Day Challenges
  • 00:20:11 Exposure to Anxiety
  • 00:24:49 Facing Rejection
  • 00:28:34 Street and Gym “Approach” Examples