Choose Your Color
Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages is not about winning Magic: The Gathering two-headed giant (2v2) matches, but that’s what I’m going to start with. Because.
In Magic: The Gathering there are mainly 5 different colors you can choose from (Green, Red, Black, White, or Blue). Each color has its own style of playing, which of course creates rivalries. Anyone can choose whatever color/s they like, although I have no idea why anyone would choose White and I think Blue should be banned…
Anyway, let’s say I’m playing Green (amazingly beautifully fast-growing powerful creatures) and my teammate is playing Black (spending life points and sacrificing creatures are just currency to be used), but we have really bad communication and don’t understand each other’s style: If I decide to support them by casting Giant Growth (+3/+3 until end of turn) on one of their creatures, I might find them sacrificing the poor thing before making use of my generous gift. If we keep going on like this, by the end of the game they will feel like I’m not giving them support and I’ll feel unappreciated for the support I gave (which I clearly did, because look how they completely ignored that wimpy 1/1 creature that I turned into a 4/4!!). Yes. In case you didn’t notice, I like mono-Green.
Now, here’s the thing: you could totally play without supporting your teammates, in the same way that you could not express love to your partner (or family or friends). But unless you want to play Solo, you need to learn how your teammates want to be supported. And if you want to keep your loved ones close, you should learn to communicate your appreciation in ways they can understand. Because -and this is mind-blowing- just as people speak in different languages, we also express and feel loved in different ways. And don’t worry: they are all just skills you can gain and level up!
Effect Multipliers
Gary Chapman classified Love Languages as Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Whether these are all the love languages or not doesn’t really matter. They’re still useful starting points and a good wake-up call to understanding that we might be expressing our love in the wrong way: If you spend hours handcrafting a gift for someone who prefers a hug, it doesn’t really matter how much time or effort you put into it. Just give them a hug instead!
Another way to think of Love Languages is as effect multipliers: we all feel and express love in all of the Languages. However, each Language will get a different boost. For example, someone’s Love Languages score could look like this:
- Physical Touch: 10
- Quality Time: 10
- Words of Affirmation: 7
- Acts of Service: 2
- Receiving Gifts: 1
For this person, a hug would have 10x the effect of a gift. But if you’re not touchy-feely, you could get the same result by having an uninterrupted deep conversation with them!
Since we’re on this topic, now is a good time to bring up the Dark Side of the Love Languages: Hurt. Just as your loving actions get multiplier effects, so do your attacks. If you feel upset and choose to punish this person with the Silence Treatment, it will have 100x the impact (Hurt x Physical Touch x Quality Time). It’s both something to keep in mind and a good reason to learn how to use shields instead of weapons.
Strategies
But before you jump headfirst to do laundry for the Acts-of-Service types (although it probably wouldn’t hurt!), there’s still another sub-quest you should take: learning their Dialect.
The fact that you know your teammate’s color of choice doesn’t mean you know their strategy. And because things with my fictitious teammate didn’t work out, I had to find a new partner who happens to play Red.
This time, I first made sure they won’t be sacrificing any creatures. Next, I needed to know their strategy. There’s no point in loading my deck with cards that boost power and toughness (+X/+X) if all they have is Direct Damage spells (typical Red) and no creatures. However, if they focus on creatures with First Strike (also typical Red!), then I can help with just +X/0 effect spells. So not only do I need to know the color; I also need to know their strategy.
Dialects are different ways of expressing a love language, and not everyone will appreciate all dialects (even if they fall within their primary love language). Someone might understand vacuuming as the highest expression of love, while someone else would rather you fix something instead. While they’re both Acts of Service, they won’t have the same multiplier. The trick is to find that person’s main Love Languages AND Dialects. You can do this by asking them, paying attention to their complaints, requests, shows of affection, or filling out this quiz.
Are there only 5 Love Languages? I don’t know. After all, you could argue that there are more than 5 colors in Magic: The Gathering. But just taking the time to learn how to express your love to someone else can change both of your lives.
Do you want to gain the legendary “5 Love Languages” Skill that gives you +5 to Charisma checks? We’ve put together a Quest exclusive for our free newsletter subscribers. So if you’re ready to level up, join us!
